Practicing Peace

    In the wake of the Virginia Tech. shootings, the troop surge in worsening Baghdad, and the powerful nor'easter which left our state in shambles, we talked last night in our Marriage Encounter group about how the negativity of recent events affects our marriages and other relationships, and how we deal with it.  All of us agreed that peace isn't simply an absence of war; it's the resolution of personal conflicts that arise every day.  So each one of us is responsible for practicing consensus-building, constructive internal debate, and offsetting the buildup of negative feelings that can explode into anger and violence. 

    Some in our group reduce the stream of bad news coming into our homes by turning off the TV; others remind themselves that bad news sells more drugs, cars, and other consumer products than good news, so what we're getting is the media's purveying of what's important.  (Hope Magazine, an interesting experiment in positive, uplifting stories by the owner of Wooden Boat Magazine here in Maine, went belly-up a few years ago after only a brief life).  And all of us try to offset the bad by focusing on the good; we agreed that going outside (here in our beautiful rural state) is a ready remedy. 

    One couple stressed the importance of action to cement and spread this balance of good over bad.  And so I was reminded that it's not enough to complain to the group about NBC giving precious airtime to the video-taped ramblings of a psychopath.  I've got to write to the network, telling them that a minute was sufficient for us to get what was in Mr. Cho's package.  Beyond that was no longer newsworthy and only encourages copy-cats - (and looked like NBC was just preening over getting an exclusive).   My husband and I turned the thing off quickly, but not before hearing Cho eulogize "Dylan and Eric," the Columbine shooters.  They'd obviously inspired him, most likely because networks had given them the attention they craved.               

     Yesterday, I had to make a series of "cold calls," something I dislike intensely - especially on a beautiful Saturday morning when people are savoring their precious weekend.  I'm "selling" our town's annual spring clean-up, asking people to take specific sections of road to pick up litter from.   

     Most people were polite but neutral.  But one man had a contagious lilt in his voice, and I was amazed he could be so clearly happy in the wake of this awful week.  I work on a town committee with him, so I know he's not in denial, someone with his head in the sand.  An environmental engineer, he looks the negative squarely in the eye.  So I concluded that this guy's working; he knows that peace is personal and spreadable.         

           

Comments

[Amy]

I so know and feel just what you write about in this splendid post. Wonderful conclusion.

[joared]

How true it is that though we hear and see the negative events around us, we can to some extent choose how we internalize them. We can influence our attitude about how we choose to cope - accepting without denying, determining some manner in which we can contribute to a more positive world, if nothing more than how we conduct our own lives -- that is no small task itself.

I certainly agree with your reaction to the traditional commercial television news content to which we are subjected today. The rapidity and ease with which we can use our remote control for changing channels, or using the on/off button is a boon to viewer sanity in what often seems like an insane news reporting world.

[Terri]

Great post, Mary Lee. I've always felt that peace, like happiness, must come from within. I have limited my national news viewing lately for all the reasons you stated. I certainly do not want to ever live my days with my head in the sand....but I also do not want to be saturated with much of the junk the media seems to think we want.